Disappointment

Even the most cursory look at the books of Exodus and Numbers leaves you scratching your head as to how the Israelites lost faith in God's provision so frequently and with such intensity. Numerous times the people turned on God and on Moses. They begged to go back to their life of slavery and abuse because traveling for what would have been a month or two was too much to ask.

Consider the incident with the fiery serpents. The people turned their backs on God. They complained about just having manna to eat and the fact that everything was taking too long. When they were forced to make a more circuitous route to arrive at the Promised Land, they grumble with such intensity that God sent fiery serpents among them. Then, like most people when confronted with judgement, they returned to God who graciously provided a means for their healing.

It is really easy to look at the Israelites and wonder what their problem was. These were the same people who had seen God do miraculous things. They are the people who could visibly see God leading them as the pillar of cloud and pillar of fire. Yet they gave evidence of their unfaithfulness at the first hint of trial. The thing is, before we condemn them, we need to consider our response to disappointment and our faithfulness. We need to keep in mind that we are not always the most thankful people.

I hate disappointment which makes sense because that is what disappointment involves. I have not suffered from a tremendous amount of disappointment, but the experiences that I have had still produce pain to this day. When I was not offered admission to the PhD program at Baylor or when I did not receive a job that I had hoped for, my first thought was not to just be thankful for what I did have. I lamented the loss of something that I could have had. Similarly, while my mouth said that God will provide something even better, my heart was producing scenarios where I would end up unsuccessful and unfulfilled for the rest of my life.

For me my manna is my fantastic wife, my beautiful daughter, plenty of money, a good education, great family, two newish cars, and not to mention eternal life and a relationship with God. God has definitely provided, but here I am trying to be unfulfilled and miserable. When you forget all of these provisions, God does begin to feel distant. Your mind begins to wonder whether you have failed some kind of test and now God can't work with you anymore.

But, here is the truth: God has provided everything you need and more. The more would be anything that you can see around you. The "provided everything you need" is a bit harder to see, but it is just as real and more powerful than what you can see. When God allowed us to be in a relationship with Him, we received more than we should have ever had the guts to ask for. He not only knows us, but speaks promises to us such as nothing can separate us from His love and that one day we will dwell with Him in the new creation.

When I read the books of Exodus and Numbers I am not so quick to judge the Israelites now. I am sure that I would have been right there with them, complaining because my feet hurt. The truth is that we all would have, but thankfully the story continued and Israel became a mighty nation in the land that God gave them. Even when they continued to forsake Him, God still stayed true to His promises just as He will do for us.